Love Breaks Hearts (Nothing to lose Nothing to keep)

My relationship with sorrow is my Business
When I cry myself off to sleep that's my Safe...
Needless to say, Love rules my Life
Always puts me in grief too and Loneliness

It's painful rather torture to see the silence thats falls between us tonight
It crawls on my skin like Darkness
The White Noise deafens me and you
Trying to sober down but your heat lures me into self-worthlessness

And now the Anger has gone
All I'm left with is some guilt and pain
No way to Relief
No sense of completion
I get no Closure

The series of occurrences that have followed me in the deep
My pillow lies drenched from the night full of weeps
The Pain starts to fade as I put myself to sleep
Into Circles of Dreams my mind tends to leap
The Dreamcatchers try to protect me as I give in
Nothing to lose Nothing to keep...

The theory is the story of life
The moment you lose interest in anything you wish to keep forever
It becomes the reason for it to come back to you
But I'm afraid as I see what I see
As I know there is Nothing to lose
Nothing to keep.

Never Too Late

You could be anywhere when your life begins...

few people would know it, if it isn't where it ends.

What matters is where you got...

how you got there is history.

What matters is what inspires you what lifts you and where that got you.

When you come into this world, when you are born...

There are infinite possibilities that surround you, 

but it is upto you to align yourself with the possibility that you choose...

I haven't cried like this in a while,

I haven't felt so blessed in a while...

In these life races where there is always someone better and faster,

we often forget what really helps us advance...

It is the peace within us, the serenity within us, how connected we used to feel to the faith we once had...

Hearing the voices that are drowned by our fears and busy schedules...

We forget to fall back and  do the little life thinking and absorbing we should...

We often forget to heal the wounds which we never noticed...

We often forget to care about the things that matter, until it hits us like a deadly disease...

Soon everyone will race...

Friends will scatter...

And family won't be there

The place we once called home will be empty

Your strong people will fall weak...

People won't have any time to listen but a lot of time to repeat

The only one who would really hear you is own echo

Do not be afraid... The darkness will not fade my love for you, I will hold it close until the sun shines again...

When the misery will fade 

No promises will need to be made

Life is about ups and downs we understand...

But I won't leave your hand together we will stand

Life will be simple when we stick it through

All this lingering will last and so will the hue

Listen to me calling your name...

Let destiny reignite the flame

Trust yourself with me 

And I promise, till death do us part, I will do the same

It all started with a "HI"

She said Memories fade away

your heart took too long a wait

and so I said please don't go

please baby stop

I took too long to see..

and now I can't keep her all to me

She got me in a love lockdown 

can't think of anything but her and me

head to toe my body trembles

my feelings crumble

could I be any dumber

how I couldn't see..

all the love that she had for me

Summer shines and winter falls

seasons change

but my heart froze in time

to the days when I first saw her smile

when she said "HI"

I could listen to her words all night

Now my knees feel weak and my eyes run dry.. 

when I lie and think of all those moments I die

I wish the day comes soon when she makes up her mind

I leave it upto her to decide 

Will she love me or will she think it's lies

Does she see the love in my eyes?

I try to keep faith that she won't deny..

baby I hope that ur love for me has not died

Until then.. I pray nothing but life for her

I hope nothing but peace on her

I desire nothing but rosy happiness for her

I wish nothing but for her to spread her wings and fly

I live for nothing but the smile on her face..

I die for nothing but the tears in her eyes

In Search of Home...

"the dark things i scribble"

Looking for peace in the chaos...

Listen up Allah, I trust u...

Hoping this will pass too...

I know I need to be strong.. help me when my shoulders fall weak.. 

help me because I'm down tonight.. 

I'm helpless tonight..

I know I make my ways to those who cause me pain..

help me to be wiser..

I'd rather get hurt than inflicting it..

I could let it go.. but you know all ..

My muscles every inch tears up n hurts reach their peak as the past wounds open sore..

Where is the calm?

All I get is pain

I don't know right now how to get there, how to reach it.

Which bus do I take, which train do I catch?

I try to fly the plane everyday to take me to that place..

but can't seem to get rid of the feeling...
I carry it everywhere I go

trying to make sense of it all

I can't get through to you

What you ask of me tell me...

Help me to be fearless from the shadows I leave behind..

Still searching for that place called home.. 

"Lost" is my new home..

tears have dried.. I try to move on..

Do not stop me from expressing tonight..

Sorry for my words, Love much now and I learned to forgive...

but I'm still not all the way because I'm frozen

My own they pretend to hold me but break me..

Still looking for that inner peace I lost quite a while back in the noise...

Can't hear my own screams no more...

Only watch myself helplessly disappear... 

Watch my spirit... 
My inner fire diminish...
I'm losing myself to the dark, to the noise, to the chaos... 

Save me Allah, save me I might wash away in the flood

I don't want to be that strong

Oh angels of mine... bring me, take me, port me home.

I feel like air...

There is no love...

I've changed myself, I've transformed.

This day is the longest day.
I might need a side to lay on tonight or someone to follow me in the deep...
All the liberty they take, love that they abuse
I feel nothing when I cry.
I hear nothing, No... I see no need to reply..
Come here so you can see me walk away tonight.

Stains of Blood

The night of the suicide puts on her Dark lipstick..
She looks so beautiful tonight..

She sleeps like a baby..
Tonight she is awake sitting on the roof of the world.. near the gods

Stars on the tiles of her floor

the shining broken handle of the car door clings to her tangled black shawl

This is a never ending, ever lasting, forever mourning memory of you

As I see the old lighthouse that glowed on your face
I couldn't keep in touch with reality as we stared into space

The dry dead leaves where we used to smoke weed
As long as we were together, there's nothing we would need

The red bricks of the house we drove past by
Pointing airplanes in the sky
The keys to the door of heaven we always knew you had,
Now as I turn away.. The heart sinks low and I feel sad
The bathroom drenched from the mess we made
I stare at those pictures as they start to fade

Strange they found your car exactly where we used to be 

It's been such hell for all of us... the last day leaving

Take all these Things they mean nothing if you're not here
Funny how you always make way to those who caused you pain...

the broken

the lost

the unfamiliar

the ones who cant be taught

ones who can never be understood

ones who cannot explain

oh... why do you bring me love.. 
when all I give you back is pain...

you could smile all day
and see no need to reply..

I remember who you were
I see you in a cloud.. search for you in a crowd everywhere.
I know somewhere you can see..
You belong with me and you go on with me.

I wish it was something like so :)

I wish it was something like so...

every evening, you would be by my side

silently my heart wouldn't tear apart missing your glass eyes,

if every evening you were here with me

the clock ticks but time is frozen 

the time doesn't pass stuck in that moment that reminds me of you

Visions of your smile of your hand holding mine

have captured me in a box of dreams

I dream for as long as I can dream...

but how long can I live on dreams?

even the pictures bring no relief to me anymore

Everyday I cheat time so I can steal & re-live the moments I spent with you

Sometimes i smile silly

Sometimes they make me laugh
and then suddenly I tear up...

But only if every evening you would be by my side...

silently my heart wouldn't tear apart missing your glass eyes,

if every evening you were here with me

I would treasure you and treat you good
I wish it was something like so...

But I'd rather be this...

When I look at what most of my other friends have made out of their lives..

I feel I left so many things behind
I feel I could've been Pretty if I took better care of myself,
I could have had more fun if I wasn't here
and I could have fallen hard on the ground hard a little fewer times !

They all look so Pretty
They have No Worries
They have Nothing to be stressed about
They don't have any major deadlines
They can do all the things in the world and still have time to do more
They can go out every night not having to worry about what they have to do the next day

But if I really did all that, I would be Empty...
I would feel hollow and incomplete.
I had to make those mistakes,
If I wouldn't, then I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

If I couldn't Fly a Plane...
I wouldn't be a Pilot
And if it wasn't this way...
Then I wouldn't be "ME"

I am not "Pretty" I've never been "Happening"
I would rather hide my face underneath my Bose Headsets, than be the Talk of the Town!
I would rather have a few good friends, than having a whole lot others who'll mean nothing.

 Yes, I could be that exact same person. But, I'd rather be this, I'd rather be this...